God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God. The holy place where the Most High dwells.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day

Psalm 46:1,2

There have been times in life when I’ve found myself too weary, sad, or spiritually depleted to know where to begin reaching out to God for the help I so desperately need. How grateful I am to know that God is aware of my need even before I am; He’s always been right there and able to help me.

Many survivors have shared about the devastating impact of sexual/spiritual abuse on their relationship with God. When trust has been shattered and God’s Word has been twisted, it’s not difficult to understand why. I personally relate to this, I couldn’t open my own Bible for a very long time after the spiritual leaders in my life used it to fit their own deviant agenda.

I’ve since learned that God has very little patience for those who use His Word to destroy the lives of others. And, on that same note, He has never-ending patience for those of us who’ve found ourselves damaged by those we trusted to spiritually guide us.

Though I completely avoided my Bible, a source of great pain, I also realized that without God’s help there was no hope for healing, or for even making it through a day without crumbling under the weight of all that had gone wrong in my life. Gradually, the Lord helped me to recall scripture passages that I’d memorized years earlier—verses which seemed like a direct response to questions and needs I had, although I was incapable of much clear thought process at all.

Indirectly and almost unbeknownst to me, the influence of God’s word became a huge source of comfort to me.

Prayer was another spiritual element which had been all but destroyed for me. Once gain, God was able to use Bible verses that I’d known most of my life to gently guide me in His direction.

In the midst of my faith crisis I recalled a simple wall hanging from my childhood; an image of the Lord’s Prayer in cross-stitch:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors

And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from the evil one.

Matthew 6:9-13

And when I couldn’t remember how to pray—I’d pray this, somehow knowing that it was enough. I’d simply ask the Lord for my daily bread—which to me meant asking for enough strength to get through that day, and He’d grant just what I needed. What I didn’t realize at the time was that He was also healing me as I learned how to trust Him again.

For you who feel alone and perhaps even spiritually damaged beyond repair—take comfort!  He really is near to those with a broken heart. He will not leave you or forsake you and as you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you.  These things I know, not only because I’ve experienced them myself, but because the Bible tells us so. And even when evil men abuse, use, and twist God’s words, causing grievous harm and destruction to others—God is faithful to the end; He is The Good Shepherd. 

He will not leave us to find our way alone. He didn’t leave me, and He will not leave you.

As always, I invite you to contact us at THOS if you need someone to talk to. We offer free, confidential counseling to those who’ve been abused by clergy.  Most of our counselors are also survivors who understand, first hand, what you’re going through. We want to help you.