Elizabeth Smart: "I Was Marked"
Today Elizabeth Smart is scheduled to testify at the sentencing hearing for Brian David Mitchell, the man who kidnapped, raped, and held her hostage for 9 months, under the guise of his religious ambitions.
While testifying during the criminal trial, Elizabeth had this to say about her own shame:
"I felt that because of what he had done to me, I was marked, I wasn't the same. My personal value had dropped. I was nothing. Another person could never love me, I felt like I had a burden the size of a mountain to carry around with me the rest of my life."
She so clearly articulates the burden of every survivor; the deep sorrow of being marred beyond value and the pain of being hopelessly changed forever.
Thankfully, God is able to redeem the deepest wounds and restore life to its intended purpose. This is true for Elizabeth's pain, and for the devastation that every sexual abuse victim suffers.
Here's what the Bible says about the Lord's ability to restore:
Isaiah 61:2-4
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
If you are suffering in this way, please contact us, we can help.
CNN's article about Brian David Mitchell's sentencing hearing can be found here.
Posted by AnnetteA at 5/25/2011 8:09 AM 
Categories: In The News
Tags: sexual abuse Elizabeth Smart Brian David Mitchell prophet pastor rape
Categories: In The News
Tags: sexual abuse Elizabeth Smart Brian David Mitchell prophet pastor rape
Elizabeth Smart was able to do something which many of those who have suffered from clergy sexual abuse do not get a chance to do. She was able to publically confront and state the damage and burden she suffered from the ordeal that she went through.
This is an important part of the healing process. My counselor asked me during one of our sessions what I would say to the pastor who stalked and preyed upon me for three years at my previous church. At the time I couldn't think of what to say, because I really didn't know at the time the full outcome of pain, burden and damage that it had caused.
After about three months of sessions with the counselor and time to reflect upon what happened, my feelings, the damage to my family and myself and the burden that I have carried, I finally came to a point where I knew what I would say. I wrote a letter to the pastor who abused me telling him how I felt, the damage that it did to my family and myself and is still doing. In it I asked him if he had a conscience and was sorry for what he had done. I told him that it wasn't too late to acknowledge, apologize, repent and ask for forgiveness for what he had done. Though I do not believe that I will ever receive an apology or be asked to forgive him, I do hope that he repents and asks for forgiveness. It helps me to believe that repentence and forgiveness of sin is still a reality even for those who proclaim it from the pulpit and have done such evil.
I did not send this letter, but it helped me to bring this out from deep inside where I had hidden and buried my emotions, pain and burdens. It is yet another step in healing that makes me feel just one step closer to being made whole again.
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The feeling of being ‘marked’ seems to exist in everyone who has been abused in one form or another. At 10 years old, I was sexually abused. The following day, I distinctly remember feeling shame, shame that I lived with my entire life. God was working to remove it, using a man I believed was sent from God to help in this area. I believed, with my whole heart, that my pastor whom I trusted more than anyone, including my husband, was the man to help me heal from my childhood abuse. It was set in my mind that because a man abused me, God was going to use a man to help me. My pastor told me that God wanted to use him to help me. He said he loved me, with God’s love. He said he loved me more than anyone else loved me, including my husband and my parents. If it weren’t so awful, it is almost comical to me that the man I thought was being used by God to help me heal from being sexually abused, in turn, sexually abused me. The pain is so deep, one that cannot be described or understood except by those who’ve experienced this type of betrayal and abuse. Yet, there is an amazing truth, that God, only God can turn the ugly into something beautiful. Only God can remove the shame and cover it with joy. Only God can rebuild the brokenness. Having been sexually abused by a stranger as a child, then sexually abused by my pastor as an adult could have destroyed my family and me. However, God had better plans. When the pain feels too much to bear, it is God alone who comforts and heals my heart. The Hope of Survivors has been a constant reminder for me in this area. Looking to people for help has its limits but God has no limits. He will bring complete healing to all that seek Him. I pray we continue seeking God and soak up His word because He can, does, and will do as He promises and He promises to heal our broken hearts and completely restore us, making us brand new!
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I understand the feeling of being "marked". During my ordeal with an abusive pastor, I was actually a full time staff member of his church. After fighting to keep my integrity for over 5 years, I finally had to resign to get away from this man. Because he was a "district elder" of a major pentecostal denomination, and the "spiritual son", of the church that trained us, I have never been able to go back into full time ministry again. This pastor "blacklisted" me to the point that finding a full time worship leader position would be virtually impossible in the area I live in. I would probably have to move out of state to go back into full time worship leading again. It breaks my heart to know that because I took a stand for what was right and got away from a man that verbally abused me.... I feel like I was the one that got punished for it. I am in ministry again, but not as a full time worship leader. People need to understand just how much loss and suffering the victims of clergy sexual abuse actually have to go through. Some of the changes are forever.......
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Denah, I am so sorry for the loss you are experiencing at the hand of a self-proclaimed pastor. Unfortunately, most people do not understand the betrayal and deep pain caused by clergy abuse. Thankfully, our hope remains in the God of justice! No man will get away with hurting His children who will not admit to their wrong doing. No man can hinder what God wants to do in you! Hang in there, keep trusting God to administer justice and allow Him to continue guiding you on the path He wants you to go.
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