To name a few, these secondary victims may include:

• Fellow pastors

• Elders

• Other counselees of the fallen pastor

• Individuals with an extra connection to the abusive pastor, such as couples married by him, or those people he baptized, etc.

• Board or church committee members

• Congregants

• Children of the primary victim  

• Children of secondary victims

As a spiritual leader, the realm of a pastor’s influence cuts far and wide, since he’s also often a charismatic speaker, head member of various church boards and committees, respected community leader, and a generally highly trusted individual. No one within this realm is spared from having to process painful information and make difficult choices once details of the abuse emerge.

Denial is not an option.

We know this from watching churches crumble and fall amidst crisis.

Sadly, pastoral sexual abuse is a dividing issue. Long held loyalty to one’s beloved pastor makes it very difficult to face the grim details of this type of abuse of power.

While there is no easy solution to such a devastating and complex issue, the best method of approach is to deal with the abuse openly and thoroughly, to accommodate ongoing full disclosure, and to set in place a long-term proactive plan for individual (and group) processing of the information.

It’s also important not to blanket the situation with quick “forgiveness”; a frequent temptation of far too many evangelical groups and a grievous error which enables denial. Healing takes time, especially when the wounds are deep and no one should expect a quick recovery. 

Also, consider the primary victim as you sort through the issue. Educate yourself about the spiritual responsibility of a pastor and the vulnerability of those who seek his guidance or are under his care. All are not equal or comparable in relationships or decision making abilities, for a variety of reasons. Just because you were not sexually victimized doesn’t mean that, given a specific amount of grooming or a different set of circumstances, you couldn’t have been.

Please know that your pain matters. You may feel as if church has let you down and perhaps even question God’s care of you. These are the damaging of effects of sin, especially when it enters our most sacred relationships; the results are undeniably devastating.

These issues won’t go away by themselves. They must be faced and worked through.  Healing and restoration will come, but only when issues are faced with honesty and a pursuit of righteous justice for all.

At The Hope of Survivors we offer seminars for churches in crisis, in addition to our counseling for victims of pastoral sexual abuse. Please contact us if you need help or to find out more about what we do.