Suicide is a common temptation when pain and confusion reach what seems to be a breaking point. The feelings of despair can be overwhelming.  I’ve mentioned this often here, as it’s one of the reasons that The Hope of Survivors exists—to offer our assistance in coping with this trauma.

Here’s an actual question on this subject from a victim of pastoral sexual abuse:

When you were going through this, did you have times where you wanted to die?

Drawing from her personal experience, Samantha Nelson tackles this tough question:

Did I have strong moments of not wanting to exist? Absolutely! I was intent on killing myself and attempted to do so frequently, but God always intervened before it was too late. At the time, I was very mad at God for intervening, but now I praise and thank Him, for He did—and does—have a plan for me.

I believe God has a plan for your life, too. I know you’ve been humiliated and abused, but Jesus was too. He was stripped naked and hung on the cross for all who passed by to see and to mock Him. Jesus KNOWS how you feel right now. Hebrews 4:15 reassures us that, “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” Jesus is touched by your “infirmities” and pain. Psalm 3:3 says, “But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.” Can you see the Lord bending over, putting His hand underneath your chin, lifting your face up so that your eyes meet His and you see the wonderful love, tenderness and sympathy He has for you? What a beautiful thought! I pray you will meditate on that and allow Jesus to bring healing to your soul right now.

Please do not even entertain thoughts about dying or no longer existing. Those thoughts are from Satan, not God. I promise you, if you will cling to Christ, He will heal you and bring you through this. One day, you will be able to look back and see how He’s been with you, how He’s led all along, and you will rejoice that you are alive. Please, wait for that day, for it WILL come.

Samantha has also written more about her personal experience with despair and suicide here.

If you need help, please contact us.