Author Gregg Olsen: Judgments on a Scandal
The Hope of Survivors guest post by Gregg Olsen
Investigative journalist and NY Times bestselling author Gregg Olsen spent several years investigating all sides of a church scandal while writing his true crime book A TWISTED FAITH.
Nick Hacheney, the pastor at the core of the Bainbridge Island, Washington church central to the story in A TWISTED FAITH, is currently serving a life sentence for the murder of his wife Dawn. During the course of the murder investigation, Nick admitted to sexual encounters with numerous members of his congregation, including women whom he'd counseled.
Please visit www.atwistedfaith.com for more info about the story.
It isn’t about Him
By Gregg Olsen
Today a crowd will likely gather in an Iowa courtroom to face Patrick Edouard, a former pastor who has been accused of sexual exploitation and abuse of female congregants who sought his comfort and counsel.
And while there will undoubtedly be a lot of mud slung at the fallen pastor (as well there should be if he is convicted of his crimes) there will be a sloshing over of debris onto the women who’ve made their complaints known to the prosecutor.
The curious always want the story to be about titillation.
People will want to look at Edouard and literally size him up. They’ll want to see what charms and good looks he must have possessed in order to get what he wanted from his victims. After all, since sex was involved, there had to be something sexy about him.
Right?
No. Wrong, very, very wrong.
The truth is that if Edouard has done as he’s been charged, it has nothing to do with what he looks like.
Seduction by a pastor-turned-predator is far more complicated than mere appearances. I know something about that having written a book about a Washington State pastor who victimized a number of women in his church. He was a roly poly, balding, short guy. He was not, by any stretch easy on the eyes. But what he did possess was the ability to dig into the hurt that a number of women held deep inside. This is what a predator does. He stalks his victims and picks off the weakest, the most vulnerable.
He told one woman who’d been sexually abused, that he also had been. He told another woman that her capacity to love could heal them both.
If a woman didn’t respond the way he wanted, then he moved on. He was hunting. And, frankly, he was good at it. At least four women in that small church had sexual relations with him. Maybe others.
So today, when people gather in that courtroom, to get a good look at him, they should not expect much. They should not cast their eyes over at the women who fell for his lies and shake their heads as if they would never have done what they did.
A good predator always knows where that darkest, deepest hurt is. Once he knows it, there is no stopping him.
If you are in need of compassionate support, please contact us.
More info about Gregg Olsen, including his upcoming touring/discussion schedule, can be found here.
Categories: Guest Blog
Tags: Gregg Olsen A Twisted Faith Nick Hacheney Bainbridge Island Pastor Patrick Edouard scandal sexual ab
This is very well written Gregg. I thank you for your understanding towards victims and survivors of clergy sexual abuse and crime.
Predator pastors do come across, in public, as charming, charasmatic and lovable. They are admired by most they come in contact with. Yet, they have other intentions, other motives. Motives that if they succeed at will prove most devastating and damaging to those who are unfortunate enough to be 'picked' by them to abuse.
I want to make one thing very clear though. These victims of abuse, are not women who should be pictured as cowardly, weak, easy prey, or women who never speak up or speak out. These women are not all the 'weakest'. Yes they are 'vulnerable, as you state, and predator pastors do have the ability to dig into hurts that women have deep inside, but they have another great ability too and that ability is to 'groom' their victims. (And you did mentioned part of the grooming process by the things a predator pastor 'says' to women). However, grooming can and is being done to intellegent, outspoken, questioning, and strong women, who happen to be at a 'vulnerable' place in their lives at the time. As, let's face it, we all can be at one point or another in our lives.
Most Christians go to their pastors for councelling and advice. Councellors, who cross boundary lines in a 'secular' environment would be breaking a code of ethics and committing a crime. (This, as I understand, is also a crime for pastors in the state of Iowa, where the church of this pastor is located). Grooming, if done over enough time, to get 100% trust, can and will break down boundary lines that would otherwise never be touched. The other women that he may try this on, that don't respond to him in the way he wants, well they may not have had the councelling, or the time around him to be groomed 100%, or there can be number of other factors involved.
Also, I have heard many times about the 'councelling behind closed doors' advice. This IS very good advice but, let's make it clear, if a pastor wants to abuse a woman, grooming can be done anywhere. Once the grooming is done, the abuse can happen anywhere as well. It doesn't take a 'basement in a church' or an 'office with a closed door'.
I thank you again Greg for your understanding on an abuse that is very misunderstood. You are well ahead of many in your understanding of the dynamics of clergy sexual abuse.
God bless you,
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Grooming and exploiting weakness is what defines a predator.
In my mind, the word weak and vulnerable are definitely interchangeable. And we are all weak in varying degrees, at different times and stages of our lives.
Weakness is not a character deficiency. One who is weak (vulnerable) does not deserve to be taken advantage of or abused. Couldn't we all abuse those people who've made themselves vulnerable to us--everyday? But we don't. Most of us fear God and respect others enough to protect the one's who've entrusted themselves to us.
I appreciate Gregg's understanding of predators and Wendy's description of the grooming process.
I'm also very interested to hear what anyone else has to say about these things, and the issues of weakness and vulnerability in victims of pastoral sexual abuse.
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More on the Haitian minister named Patrick Edouard, who is charged with sex crimes against four different women from Covenant Reformed Church in Iowa over several years:
Edouard, who is originally from Haiti, became pastor at Covenant Reformed in August 2003. Police also say Edouard exhibited "a pattern or practice or scheme ... to engage in sexual contact against ... emotionally dependent female" congregation members between 2003 and 2010. On the sex crime, someone dropped a dime to WHO-TV:
"[E]ach alleged victim had a particular weakness, a "stress in their life" that they said Rev. Edouard targeted and exploited. The source told Channel 13 that Edouard invited the victims to come to him for counseling. The sessions took place in Edouard's study, which was located in the basement of the pastor's home located in the nearby golf resort community of Bos Landen. Some people now wonder why the pastor wasn't given a proper study at the church building. However, the source insists that the victims do not blame the church elders who oversee operations for what the alleged victims said occurred.
"The source told Channel 13 that the women were happy in their marriages and fulfilled in their lives. "Sure, they were stressed at times," the source said, adding that the women eventually displayed, "drastic negative changes in their moods and certain behaviors." The source said that Edouard threatened them, in order to keep them quiet. "He said, 'You will lose everything," according to the source. The source said that Edouard meant they would lose their husbands, children, homes, status within community, friends, and good names. The source said that Edouard warned them, "Nobody will believe you..."
"The number of alleged victims stands at four. However, the anonymous source said that there are likely more alleged victims who have not come forward. For now, the families await one or more criminal trials and live under the scrutiny of people who wonder why the women didn't just reject the reverend's advances"
In other words, we may only know a small part of the story. How many victims?
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Thanks for the info, Monty. Sadly, there could very well be more victims out there.
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Yes, clergy sexual abuse can and does happen to women who are at a weak place in their life and of course no one 'deserves' to be abused.
I wasn't stating weakness as a character flaw. My comment was stating that not ALL women who are groomed are at that weak place or are the 'weakest'. Grooming can and does happen to strong women as well. Why? because when extreme trust is involved, along with the grooming that happens over time, it will break down those boundary lines that would otherwise never have been able to be crossed.
Sometimes people can get the wrong idea. They don't believe these women ever 'question' the pastor or 'speak up' for themselves. That is not always the case. I have also heard the words 'How could they have been so stupid' or "How could I (victim) have been so stupid?" when clergy sexual abuse can and does happen to very intelligent, wise women of God. Clergy sexual abuse has nothing to do with intelligence.
Oh here is a good one, "How OLD were you?" Age has nothing to do with it either! Anymore then the age of someone who trusted and was financially taken advantage of.
Also, comments have been made such as, "Oh these women are just weak, that would never happen to me, I would have never let that pastor near me!"
In fact, there was a comment under the news article posted on this very case entitled, Ex-pastor's alleged behavior was shock to Pella church/The DesMoines Register, and it reads,(quote) "What is wrong with us as a society? I am a Christian woman. If that low-life would have put his hands on me, he wouldn't have any hands left! If I couldn't take care of it my husband or some other male in my family would have ... We have become so weak..." (unquote) and a reply to her post,(quote)"The women he preyed on were obviously weak women. They were not strong or outgoing or outspoken..." (unquote)
It is important that people realize that clergy sexual abuse happens to strong, intelligent, extroverted women as well.
I appreciate Gregg's post and mostly his words,(quote) "...They should not cast their eyes over at the women who fell for his lies and shake their heads as if they would never have done what they did." (unquote)
On an end note: I think the word 'vulnerable' is a much more appropriate word to use when referring to women who have been sexually abused by their pastors.
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Below is a wonderful response to a comment, (Quote) "I hope these women are all praying for forgiveness!" (unquote), made on a recent news article titled, Pastor Charged: Former Pella church leader accused of sexually abusing four women:
(Quote) "As a survivor of 10 years of sexual abuse at the hands of my preacher father, I am compelled to respond. I am appalled that anyone would blame these women for their own abuse. Unless you have been a victim of the subtle and cunning manipulation and grooming that these perpetrators are so skilled at, you cannot possibly understand how these women were entrapped. This pastor used his position of power and authority and preyed upon the vulnerabilities of these hurting women. It is heinous what he did to these women and to do so under the guise of religion makes it even worse. Shame on this pastor - all of the blame lies with him. He is a predator. These women deserve our support and compassion. I am so proud of them for coming forward. Again, to anyone who finds fault that they did not come forward sooner, you simply cannot understand the utter shame, fear and guilt that these women have gone through. They came forward when they were able to. My heart goes out to them and the long journey they have to recovery. Shame on the predator pastor - may he be punished to the fullest extent of the law. He is a monster!" (Unquote)
We here at The Hope of Survivors are also very proud of these women and their husbands for coming forward. They are very courageous! Our hearts and prayers go out to them all.
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I'm so glad you shared this Wendy. It's very good, thanks....
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Interesting thoughts on weakness and vulnerabilities. Personally, I don’t like either word, as they both make me feel inadequate. However, I was weak/vulnerable in the areas of trust and being manipulated by my pastor. I have to admit the truth in order to find healing. I no longer believe or feel stupid. I was weak. I was vulnerable. I trusted a man 100%, which should never be done. I wanted the special relationship and attention from this man I deemed important. I ignored the hundreds of red flags over a six-year period because of my belief that a so-called man of God would not manipulate in the ways he did. I was weak in ignoring God’s warnings, which were clear but I didn’t believe my pastor, whom I trusted, was my enemy. And I was weak in not trusting my instincts that told me this man is manipulative, controlling, and deceptive. It was because I was weak and vulnerable that I was led into sin. Everyone is weak and vulnerable in one area or another. I am a strong, outgoing woman who loves life but was weak in this area. The lessons learned through this have made me much stronger in the areas I was weak. We will or should be growing until the day we see Jesus and hopefully, we will take our weaknesses to God, allowing Him to be strong in them. Unfortunately, my weaknesses led me into sin, instead of to God. Another lesson learned. When we are weak, God is strong. May my weaknesses lead me not into sin, but to rely on God for strength!
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MJ,
What the truth is:
Due to the imbalance of power between a pastor/congregant, there can be no mutual consent to a relationship of any kind, especially not a sexual relationship. Clergy sexual abuse is a form of rape, not only physically, but a rape of ones soul and spirit.
What is seen as being weak, in truth, is that a predator pastor can take a "strong, outgoing woman", groom her, break her boundaries down, get her to trust him 100%, and then wait until she is in a vulnerable place in her life to strike.
What appears to be total weakness is really non-consent!
I highly recommend couples going through CSA to purchase Steve and Samantha Nelson's DVD, Call It Anything But Love. It really shows the spinning of a spider's web of lies and deceit of one of the worst kinds. As well as for anyone who wants greater understanding of the dynamics of clergy sexual abuse.
The truth matters.
God's many blessings to you MJ. May God continue to strengthen you, as He brings you and your husband healing and peace.
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Just wanted to add,
Of course we should not ignore warning signs, red flags, or stay in a church with a manipulative, controlling pastor. I made that mistake as well. However, while one is being groomed they do not actually 'know' that they are being groomed.
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Thanks for the encouragement Wendy.
I never trusted anyone 100%, not even my husband. Yet I did grow to trust my pastor 100%. A huge mistake I made is in that trust> I told him I trusted him 100%, I trusted God 100% but I only trusted myself 95% because I knew my vulnerabilities and being human and wanting to feel special to him. As a result, he ran with what I told him and then used it against me, saying I came on to him. He may think that me telling him I trusted myself only 95% was an opening to pursue me when in reality, I was being completely honest with him because I trusted him completely. Never will I trust anyone 100%. He worked for 6 years to gain my complete trust and although I believed it was a mutual consenting relationship, I now see the abuse of power and position. I would never have had feelings toward him had he not been in that position and I definitely would not have trusted him 100% had he not worked hard to get me to that point. Him being a so-called man of god is a big reason I trusted him as much as I did. The betrayal is so deep that only God is able to bring hope and healing as is mentioned often on this site.
Thank you for bringing hope to a situation that appears to be hopeless. MJ
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Wendy, Not knowing I was being groomed is there the stupidity came from that I felt. I believed I was special, believed he cared about me, even believed he loved me. What a shock to my mind, body, and soul in realizing I was groomed to trust him in order for him to use me. I still can't believe it happened. I woke up last night, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a bit of anxiety over what happened because it is still surreal and against my character to have been manipulated and used by my pastor, and being led into sin. The red flags I saw didn't relate only to my relationship with him, but in manipulating the elders and congregation in financial areas and ministries. I do hope and pray that God will keep me free from this type of church and pastor. I am stronger but will never let down my guard by fully trusting a man.
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