How could I do this?  Why wasn’t I able to resist?  What’s wrong with me?

The internal questions are endless, and sadly, most people in the victim’s life, no matter how supportive they’d like to be, also wonder these same things.

Here’s an actual question submitted to The Hope of Survivors, by  a victim of pastoral sexual abuse.

Why did I not listen to my basic instincts, but instead let the pastor do what he wanted?

THOS founder and pastoral sexual abuse survivor, Samantha Nelson responds:

We, especially as women, tend to submit to authority and power. Rightly so in many cases, however, as you have found, power and authority are not always rightly used.

When power and authority are abused and used for downright evil, we are not to submit to that, but submit to God alone. When someone has control over us, through their power, we are sometimes rendered incapable of acting upon what we know instinctively to be right. Even when we muster the courage to say “no” or to try to end things, whatever may be the case, we are often left without the ability to follow through with that decision when we are placed under ridicule, threatened, etc.

The effects of clergy sexual abuse are simply (complexly—if that’s a word!) devastating! It is physical, emotional and spiritual abuse all rolled into one giant crime against God’s children. Yes, it does make you question your instincts, your morals, and everything you have ever known. It makes you question God—and that is perhaps the most dire consequence for some—they question God, turn from Him, and never come back. In those instances, clergy sexual abuse has taken the individual’s life—perhaps for eternity. Very tragic!